Don't Let The SHOMs Rule Your Life.

Turn your SHOMs into WOWs!
You know what the SHOMs are don't you....?
All those

Should do's...
Have to's...
Ought to's... and
Must do's...

When you live life by the SHOMs you get stressed, miserable, infect everyone around you and age prematurely. This is because SHOMs are rule statements that others use to MAKE us do things. A SHOM is always followed up with an implied 'OR ELSE', that's how you know it's a rule.
I prefer PRINCIPLES to RULES because they allow us to use flexibility and adapt based on circumstances. Rules on the other hand can only be obeyed or broken, and that's what makes them stressful.
Living your life according to the rules of others was probably quite wise when you were young and immature, however, continuing to live your life by other people's rules when you are grown up is daft. You are capable of making your own choices, and taking personal responsibility for the consequences now.

My tip for those of you who haven't already done so, is to start right now, turning your SHOMs into WOWs

WOWs are

Want to's...
Opportunities... and
Wonderfuls

Happiness in life is often just about changing our perspective.

Instead of thinking: I have to get up and go to work or else I will upset my boss and lose my job (a SHOM),
Choose to think: I want to get up because today is a brand new opportunity to prove to myself what I can do even in situations that I find challenging, how wonderful!'


Have a go today and let me know how you get on.

How to be Happy at 50! - Tip No. 2: Choose your attitude!

Each morning when you wake up you have two choices.

You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. 

I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, you can choose to be a victim or you can choose to learn from it.

I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to you complaining, you can choose to resent their complaining or you can choose to help them look for a positive solution.

I choose to help them.

Life is all about choices. Every situation is a choice.

I choose how I respond (not react) to situations.

I choose how people affect my mood, it's my mood not theirs!

I choose to be in a good mood or a bad mood.

The bottom line: It's my choice how I live my life.

My Challenge to YOU:

Over the next few days become more aware of the choices you have in your life by noticing when you REACT to a situation rather than RESPOND.

I’m not sure what the differences in the origins of these 2 words are, but I do know that when I had some throat surgery a few years ago it was better that my body RESPONDED to the treatment rather than REACTED to it!

RE-ACTING sounds to me like doing the same thing over again and life has taught me that when something isn’t working, it's time to do something different.

Do you remember the saying: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.’ Perhaps this saying is responsible for so many of the older generation allowing themselves to RE-ACT to life.

I prefer the saying: ‘If at first you don’t succeed, have a really good think about the consequences of continuing trying to do it that way. Then having done that, consider the consequences of doing it another way. Finally, choose whichever brings you, and those you care about, the most happiness’

It's your choice, so CHOOSE WISELY.

How to live a great life!

On the 17th of July 2011 I will have been alive for 50 years, that's amazing! It's not actually true as it doesn't take into account my 9 months development from conception to birth. As I seem to have missed the momentous occasion in November 2010, I'll stick to my official birthday for the purposes of this blog. It is amazing to realise I have 50 years experience of being me. I am officially the most experienced person on the planet at knowing all about and understanding everything associated with how I function as a human being.

1. I have more knowledge and experience of my brain than any neuroscientist;
2. I have more understanding and information about my mind than any psychologist,
3. I have more familiarity and awareness of what my body can do and needs than any doctor
4. I have more insight into my spiritual nature than any priest or religous leader.

How cool is that!

As well as being 50 in July I also have a fantastic life! I married a wonderful woman, I have 3 brilliant children, I live in the countryside in a beautiful cottage surrounded by nature, travel the world for work and pleasure. I love my work and have found the balance that enables me to earn a decent living, be financially secure, be happy, be healthy, be free to explore life, be me.

Life hasn't always been great, there are good days and there are challenging days in everyone's life. I don't believe some people are born lucky, I believe we make our own luck based on the choices we make in response to life. Life has taught me that valuing the good days and choosing to learn something new from the challenging days, leads to more good days and less challenges. I think the key to a successful life is in valuing what is important to us and learning from difficulty.

As a thank you to all the people who have joined my facebook pages 'The Confidence Clinic', 'Brain Mapping Online', 'Pathfinders TV', Britain's Next Top Coach' and others, I'm going to post some tips (I don't like secrets) on how to live a successful life based on my experience. I'll post them over the weeks and days leading up to my birthday on this blog. Feel free to comment and share the link with your online friends and colleagues. 

  

Are You Making the Most of Your Brain?

The most successful people in life are not necessarily the richest or the highest qualified.

The “richest” people are most often those who have developed the WINNER’S BRAIN. Those who are determined to do things; they are competitive, single-minded, focussed and not concerned about upsetting or hurting others in their pursuit of success.

The “highest qualified” are usually those who have developed the EXPERT’S BRAIN. Those who follow instructions to the letter, analyse, learn, always complete what they start and can become obsessive about getting things perfect.

Then there are those who develop the PERFORMER’S BRAIN. Those who often see opportunities before others, risk-taking free spirits who can appear overly optimistic, sociable and creative.

And finally, there are those who develop the RESCUER’S BRAIN. Those who value social harmony, protection of the weak,. They are peace-makers and team workers, who can at times forsake their own needs for the needs of others.

The most successful people in life are the people who have developed the neurological flexibility to be all and any of the above as and when necessary to achieve their goals.

So how are YOU using your brain?

Are you a WINNER, EXPERT, PERFORMER, or RESCUER?


Which are your strengths? Which are your weaknesses? Are you able to flex your neurological muscles and be any of the above to achieve your goals, or are you in need of some brain development?

Visit my Brain Mapping Online webpage get a FREE Brain Map and find out.

                    

Your Recipe For A Successful Life

Take twelve whole months, clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy, making them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts, but don't make up the whole batch at once. Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of purpose. Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.

Blend with one part prayer, one part contemplation, one good deed, then season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play and a cupful of good humour.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love, cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile and serve with quietness, unselfishness,

and cheerfulness.

Follow this recipe precisely and you're bound to produce a successful life!

ENJOY

The Ages of Women

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly- but decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees clean and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees I am and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

Pass this on to all the great women in your life ;)

Fearless Decision Making

What stops you making important decisions in life?
What makes you hesitate?

Is it Fear of Loss?

Losing your job? Losing your credibility? Losing face?

Maybe you Fear Rejection?
Being seen as the "bad guy" or no longer Miss Popular, being shunned, excluded or ignored?

Perhaps you Fear being Wrong?

Saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, having insufficient information to make the RIGHT decision and guarantee your success?

Or is it a Fear of Commitment?
Hesitation brought about by a niggling doubt, or gut-instinct that once the decision is made there will be no turning back, no get-out clause, little or no freedom to choose another course of action?